Welcome to the Holiday Season! Stuff to buy is everywhere. Shopping aisles are filled with trappings to assist happy, intact families celebrate together. In the USA we are on a countdown from Thanksgiving to New Year for non-stop partying and forced togetherness. In Adelaide, it starts with the Credit Union Christmas pageant. Does that thought […]
It always gives me a buzz to connect with leaders in the field and to learn more strategies which work and support my clients. That is why I am delighted to have been selected to assist Drs John and Julie Gottman, and the Research Team at the Gottman Institute, with their most recent study on […]
TWO MUSICIANS ON DIFFERENT NOTES Michael and Jonathan sat uneasily on the couch with a safe distance between them for the first Oral History Interview. For me to see both of them on the computer screen, I asked them to move closer and they laughed nervously. Both are gifted musicians who support their partner’s career […]
Are you frustrated with not getting the results you would like with some depressed or anxious clients? Are you concerned that standard techniques seem too cold and cognitive? Are you tired of training that seems to be purely academic and not practical or effective? Training in TEAM CBT has the potential to address these problems […]
How to train just about anybody! Do you ever have great ideas which seem wonderful at the time but take a lot longer to implement than you ever anticipated? That is the story with Phoenix, my 4 month old, hypo-allergenic Cavoodle puppy. You see Phoenix here looking angelic and so well behaved! What the photo […]
The longer you are in a relationship, the more predictable and repetitive are the disagreements. One of you might be more adventurous and a risk-taker while the other needs more security and a predictable routine. One might like nothing better than large social gatherings while the other person is secretly grateful for a legitimate excuse […]
Self-soothing or Taking a Break. Don’t you just hate it when you are trying really hard to do the right thing and you still get blasted? It is really upsetting to be misunderstood and seen as the bad guy when you are using all your discipline not to make things worse. That was the complaint […]
Replace Contempt With Appreciation How is your relationship is going with the extra time together during the lockdown? Are you getting tired of avoiding certain topics for fear of starting one of those disagreements that could rage out of control, or more likely, just end in stony silence? Are you continuing to put on a […]
Effective Conflict the Gottman Way It becomes so discouraging to have repeated arguments where nothing gets resolved. It is no wonder that many people try to just shut up, keep the peace or avoid the issue. But it has become more difficult to avoid issues during the enforced restrictions of COVID 19. Those annoying habits […]
Manage Conflict like a Pro Don’t you hate it when well-meaning professionals get on their soapbox and start preaching about what couples should do to fight fair or resolve conflict? It all sounds so removed from the real world of nitty-gritty arguments when tempers run high and you definitely don’t feel like practising acts of […]